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Are you good enough?

We can’t hate ourselves into a version of ourselves we can love.” ~Lori Deschene

Like so many other people's, my school report contained a few "could do better" phrases, "if only she would stop daydreaming, stop talking". One old misery guts of a teacher even told my Mum and other children's parents I would never make anything of myself, she recommended other parents told their children not to befriend me! I was an anxious 7 year old who chattered and daydreamed to try and manage my nervousness.

These reports did not inspire me, they did not fill me with excited motivation, they did not support me to grow and develop. The effect they had on me left me feeling not good enough, a theme that followed me in life until I decided I had enough of living under that shadow.

The whole foundation to any of my work is to facilitate a positive attachment, to engage in a way that ensures that the child or person knows they have value, I demonstrate that I care and we start our work from that place.

Creating high levels of self worth, building self esteem, practising self care, living in the present and feeling grateful for the good, these things are so very important.

“It’s a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.” — Germany Kent

No-one is ever going to be perfect, we can have deep rooted reasons for low self worth, but with work, with compassion, gaining an understanding and then changing our emotions, our responses and our behaviours we can change our lives.

For me I have worked hard and continue to do so to reprogram myself into knowing I really am enough. This is what I always come back to,

- I shut my inner critic up,

- I know there is so much more right with me than wrong,

-I deserve to be loved and I gratefully accept any love coming my way,

- I will not keep people in my life who criticise and bring me down,

- I celebrate any "wins",

- I work hard to not get stuck in any kind of comparison trap,

- I try to ensure I am surrounded by people who support me, who don't hold me back, people who validate who I am,

- I will not let myself feel any shame, I am free to be authentically me,

- I take time to think about my own wants and needs and try and communicate these to those closest to me,

- I practice self care,

- I try to have realistic expectations,

- I will not be defined by other people's opinions or thoughts,

- I will not be consumed with all the things I am not, I will focus on all that I am and all that I know I can be!

“At your absolute best, you still won’t be good enough for the wrong person. At your worst, you’ll still be worth it to the right person.” — Karen Salmansohn

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